She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
