If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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