Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
is it fun? or sober?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
