Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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