Where did you get a picture of my penis
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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