My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
