so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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