why didn't you poke me back
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
