I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
