Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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