he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
handjob tips. give me some.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Randomize
