She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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