I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
