Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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