I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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