Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
