Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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