Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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