Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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