I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I think I just sharted jello shots
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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