How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
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