u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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