1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
