Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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