No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
