I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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