The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
