Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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