you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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