She is in my trunk
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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