Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?