You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
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i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
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They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
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Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned