And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.