I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit