he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
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Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties