i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
