im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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