I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
