I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Blood and glitter go together right?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.