Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE