Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it