Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
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