I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
