Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
