You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Randomize
