well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Best friends brother. Beat that.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
