dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
