You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
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Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
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They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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