I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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