I puked a lego.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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