oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
