Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
