OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
