ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
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I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
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Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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