If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
