I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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