remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize