You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
