i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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