Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
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i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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