The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
