I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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