A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
